{"id":721,"date":"2014-10-22T11:17:51","date_gmt":"2014-10-22T15:17:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/?p=721"},"modified":"2023-05-04T12:06:08","modified_gmt":"2023-05-04T16:06:08","slug":"so-theres-that-day-30-nyc-comraderie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/so-theres-that-day-30-nyc-comraderie\/","title":{"rendered":"So There’s That, Day 30: NYC Comraderie"},"content":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

With two weeks left at my full-time gig in New York, I continue to pack my schedule with coffees, lunches, dinners and drinks with everyone I still haven\u2019t come out to in town.<\/p>\n

By now, it\u2019s a mixture of networking, getting back in touch with old friends and lining up a support structure of people who will hopefully have my back in case this whole transgendery thing blows up in my face. Because let\u2019s face it, next year I\u2019m walking that transgender tightrope without a societal safety net, and it would be kinda groovy to know who I can turn to if the heavy winds start to blow. \u2018Cause, you know, I\u2019ll be on a tightrope.<\/p>\n

Anyway\u2026 my first stop of the day is with another AOL friend. This time it\u2019s lunch at a swanky Time-Warner restaurant, not my usual lunch fare. While I\u2019m most definitely a foodie, I\u2019m usually a bit more\u2026 casual. To put my tastes in context, I\u2019m obsessed with Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives<\/em>, Unique Eats<\/em>, and Good Eats<\/em>, watching on near perpetual loop thanks to my TIVO. So yeah, transgender foodie. Not the best combination for someone trying to shake those final ten \u201cguy\u201d pounds at age 48. So yeah, thanks, God.<\/p>\n

Back at lunch, we play the catch up game\u2026 divorces, kids, new jobs. Only I get to embellish\u00a0my<\/i> story with stuttering and transitioning. Try and top that! Drop the mic and walk away. Just walk away.<\/p>\n

An oddly awesome byproduct of coming out to women (let\u2019s just call it a feature) is that I get to compliment them on things that I was hesitant to comment upon in the past for fear that I would be perceived as that creepy guy hitting on them\u2026 creepily.<\/p>\n

So let me just state for the record, she has the greatest medium short hair ever. And let me tell you, it is\u00a0so<\/i>\u00a0cool once women realize that I\u2019m serious about this, that I\u2019m on hormones, that I\u2019m really doing it, because there is an ease evident on their faces that leads to joyful conversations (at least for me) on hair, makeup (or lack thereof), and storing heels at the office. Topics I\u2019ve never been able to talk about. It\u2019s like being allowed past the rope at a hip nightclub for the first time and then being lead to the VIP room. At least, that\u2019s what I imagine it\u2019d be like having never really been hip enough to understand the the appeal of roped nightclubs. Diners, Drive-ins and Dives<\/em> and all that, remember?<\/p>\n

It is a delightful lunch that wraps up in her swanky office at Time Warner Center with promise of a renewed friendship.<\/p>\n

Fast forwarding to after work, I walk to my weekly therapy and get to recount, in detail, my recent experiences, specifically my stress-filled weekend. It is with genuine delight that I discover that she agrees with me on things like mint juleps, transgender proofs and gender spectrum boxes.<\/p>\n

My favorite part?<\/p>\n

My Therapist:<\/b>\u00a0That must have been awful having to defend yourself to a close friend. How long did that go on?<\/p>\n

Me (nonchalantly):<\/b>\u00a0Two hours.<\/p>\n

My Therapist (incredulous):\u00a0<\/b>Two hours!?!?!?<\/p>\n

Me (nonchalantly):<\/b>\u00a0Yeah, but he means well.<\/p>\n

Of course, I am the one telling the story, so take that exchange and this whole blog for that matter with an enormous pillar of salt.<\/p>\n

But in an odd way, my confrontational conversation on Sunday ended up being a good thing. I didn\u2019t back down. I didn\u2019t feel pangs of shame. I stood my ground and defended my current journey. And that, ladies and gentleman, feels pretty good for someone who, two months ago, couldn\u2019t accept himself. Or is that herself? (Pronoun trouble!)<\/p>\n

After therapy I grab drinks with the guy who wrote me the incredibly supportive email. You know, the gay stutterer. Okay, I know that\u2019s incredibly inappropriate, but it is kinda funny. Right? Right?<\/p>\n

Anyhoo\u2026 we meet at a Mexican restaurant\/bar and over several beers bond like there\u2019s no tomorrow. Over stuttering. Over hiding stuttering. The tricks of the trade, like turning your head to appear contemplative when in actuality you\u2019re struggling with a troublesome word.<\/p>\n

We then turn to nature of coming out to people, the fear, the shame, and then the joy of dealing with groovy people. He warns me, though, that the euphoria will wear off and then I\u2019ll need to deal with life as a transgender individual.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an amazing evening. While our circumstances are not the same, we share enough in common that I feel I met a comrade-in-arms. And a pretty cool one at that.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s strange. Here I thought I would lose everyone I knew when I came out, but instead I\u2019m making new friends and strengthening bonds with old ones. And likely sipping Mint Juleps in my new Italian men\u2019s clothes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. \u2014 With two weeks left at my full-time gig in New York, I continue to pack my schedule with coffees, lunches, dinners and drinks with everyone I still haven\u2019t come out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-so-theres-that"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=721"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":724,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions\/724"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}