{"id":717,"date":"2014-10-21T11:28:10","date_gmt":"2014-10-21T15:28:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/?p=717"},"modified":"2023-05-04T11:17:47","modified_gmt":"2023-05-04T15:17:47","slug":"so-theres-that-day-29-subtle-segues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/so-theres-that-day-29-subtle-segues\/","title":{"rendered":"So There’s That, Day 29: Subtle Segues"},"content":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s Monday and I\u2019m still mulling over my Maryland coming-out parties from the weekend.<\/p>\n

New York City has been so supportive, so overwhelmingly happy for me the past three weeks \u2014 alas, I can\u2019t say that this weekend felt anywhere near as supportive.<\/p>\n

I mean, Saturday went well, but the \u201cmint julep\u201d quip fuels my fear that\u00a0my friend\u2019s vision of\u00a0my girl mode is a little more Southern Belle than I\u2019d like. It really shouldn\u2019t bother me \u2014 how do I know I\u2019m not projecting\u00a0my<\/i>\u00a0fears onto\u00a0his<\/i>\u00a0loyal support? And yet it still irks me on some primal level to think that people might believe that this is about frilly clothes and not about being who I am.<\/p>\n

And truth to be told, I\u2019m not into frilly. Lesbian chic is the term I toss about. I don\u2019t even know if that means anything\u2026 but for me, and don\u2019t forget I\u00a0am<\/i>\u00a0a lesbian trapped in a man\u2019s body, it\u2019s jeans and boots and leggings and t-shirts and hoodies and turtleneck sweaters. And lots of black. In other words, like half the women walking around New York City. Which either means lesbian chic is the worst descriptor ever, or New York City is 25% lesbian.<\/p>\n

Now Sunday\u2026 Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, for those of you who remember\u00a0Bosom Buddies<\/i>. I\u2019m still trying to wrap my head around the adversarial reaction, the push back. I know my therapist will tell me, \u201cGive people time.\u201d That they\u2019ve known me as a guy for a long time and they just can\u2019t make the shift immediately. Give them time.<\/p>\n

I guess that\u2019s one of the reasons I\u2019ve been coming out to people in boy mode. It gives\u00a0me<\/i>\u00a0time to explain what is going on without the visual taking all the air out of the room. I get to\u00a0tell<\/i>\u00a0them. If I came out whilst in girl mode, I would be showing, not telling. And the air thing.<\/p>\n

No, I think this is the right way to go. But still, I never expected to be told I\u2019m not transgender in the process of coming out. I didn\u2019t realize proofs and notarized membership cards were required.<\/p>\n

The good news is that I\u2019m not prone to dwell on things. Or beat a dead horse. Or not let things go. Nope, not this cat.<\/p>\n

My non-dwelling-on, not-dead-horse-beating, letting-go thoughts are interrupted by my calendar reminding me that an old AOL coworker turned realtor is coming by to help me assess my house later in the day. Should I sell it? Rent it? What repairs are needed? What\u2019s the market like? What\u2019s the capital of Assyria?<\/p>\n

Yeah, nothing like a subtle segue.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s just cut to my old AOL coworker-turned-realtor friend arriving at my house a few hours later. The two of us haven\u2019t seen each other in probably 10 years, and after a bit of small talk, she suggests we do a walk-through of my house. A walk-through that includes my non-closeted bedroom.<\/p>\n

No, I explain, I\u2019ve got some news to share before we can explore with impunity. So quickly I leap into stuttering, then\u2026 transgendered. Now after my experiences this weekend, I\u2019m not sure how this is going to play out, but she breaks into a big grin and I know it\u2019s going to be okay.<\/p>\n

She is genuinely happy for me, and with my hair a little disheveled, she makes my day by telling me that I\u2019m going to make one cute woman. She then frowns and begins to protest, \u201cNot that I\u2019m hitting on you!\u201d<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t help but laugh because while her clothes don\u2019t scream lesbian chic, she is married to one. Okay, that sounded better in my head, before writing it down. But you know what I mean.<\/p>\n

I give her the grand tour of the house and when we get to my bedroom and closet therein, she smiles and says, I guess you have a thing for shoes! It\u2019s a wonderful comment that would have given me defensive fits two months earlier, but now it is so welcome and soooooo true.<\/p>\n

The tour complete, she makes her goodbyes, but not before promising a dinner get-together one night soon. A girls night out.<\/p>\n

Who knows, maybe Maryland won\u2019t be so unsupportive after all. And all I had to do was give it time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. \u2014 It\u2019s Monday and I\u2019m still mulling over my Maryland coming-out parties from the weekend. New York City has been so supportive, so overwhelmingly happy for me the past three weeks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-so-theres-that"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=717"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":720,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions\/720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}