{"id":690,"date":"2014-10-14T17:08:01","date_gmt":"2014-10-14T21:08:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/?p=690"},"modified":"2023-04-28T19:11:49","modified_gmt":"2023-04-28T23:11:49","slug":"so-theres-that-day-22-faq-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/so-theres-that-day-22-faq-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"So There’s That, Day 22: FAQ II"},"content":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

Thought I\u2019d change the pace today.<\/p>\n

Since I\u2019m usually focused on the daily view of my transgender journey, I haven\u2019t really explained many of the details surrounding my path prior to September 2014.<\/p>\n

So let me use this second F.A.Q. installment to help fill in a few of those gaps\u2026<\/p>\n

You talk a lot about shame and fear. What\u2019s up with that?<\/b><\/p>\n

I grew up in a different era. I was born in 1965 and my childhood sat squarely in the \u201970s. Gays weren\u2019t openly tolerated. Just look at Paul Lynde, dubbed \u201cAmerica\u2019s most eligible bachelor.\u201d Transgender folk? That was even worse.<\/p>\n

When I was in grade school we used to play a game during recess called \u201cSmear the Queer\u201d where all the boys would chase and tackle whoever happened to be holding the football\u2026 the queer. That sort of matter-of-fact attitude towards anything different took its toll on someone who secretly liked to wear dresses. My keen adolescent survival instinct kicked in and I quickly learned to hide that part of myself from the world.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to my late teens and early twenties when I began to explore the outside world in girl mode. For the most part I could be myself, smile even. But there were too many encounters resulting in being pointed at, laughed at, cursed at, even threatened with bodily harm. Of being made a spectacle of over the loud speaker at a K-Mart whilst trying to buy a skirt. Or chased down Ben Franklin Boulevard when I wandered too far away from the safety of my car rather late one night.<\/p>\n

All these experiences fueled the fear that I was, in fact, a freak. I \u201cpurged\u201d my entire wardrobe on countless occasions, vowing to never dress again. I started to believe there\u00a0was<\/i>\u00a0something wrong with me.<\/p>\n

So, yeah, after 40 years, it\u2019s still a challenge to expunge all of the shame and overcome all the fear. Because a part of me still fears I\u2019m a freak. Still fears my friends won\u2019t be accepting of who I am and path I\u2019ve decided to take.<\/p>\n

The good news? Everyone,\u00a0every single person I\u2019ve told<\/i>, has been more supportive and accepting than I ever thought possible.<\/p>\n

Are you \u201cpassable\u201d?<\/b><\/p>\n

This used to be so important to me. Passing as a woman.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t deny that there was a thrill when I did. When my hair and makeup were just right. When I walked past people and the only looks I got were for a cute girl, not a freak. I used to tell myself that if I could pass full time, then I could do this. That I could somehow transition from being male to female with no muss, no fuss.<\/p>\n

So on a good day, yeah, I can pass. I\u2019ve been called \u201cma\u2019am\u201d whilst standing in line at the grocery store or the pharmacy when my ponytail is a little disheveled, when I\u2019m wearing my black and yellow hoodie with jeans and boots.<\/p>\n

And on a not-so good day, I\u2019m a bloke in a dress, as Eddie Izzard is fond of saying.<\/p>\n

But I guess the difference now is that this journey is less about \u201cpassing\u201d and more about being who I am. I mean it\u2019s flattering when I pass as female. It\u2019s actually pretty awesome. But at the end of the day, I am transgender. And if I<\/i>\u00a0can\u2019t accept that, how can I expect others to do so?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. \u2014 Thought I\u2019d change the pace today. Since I\u2019m usually focused on the daily view of my transgender journey, I haven\u2019t really explained many of the details surrounding my path prior […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-so-theres-that"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=690"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":692,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690\/revisions\/692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}