{"id":594,"date":"2014-09-29T13:30:10","date_gmt":"2014-09-29T17:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/?p=594"},"modified":"2023-03-28T15:08:10","modified_gmt":"2023-03-28T19:08:10","slug":"so-theres-that-day-7-ex-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/so-theres-that-day-7-ex-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"So There’s That, Day 7: Ex-Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"

So There’s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

My next big step is to come out to friends, co-workers and family about being transgender.<\/p>\n

I decide to do a test run with my ex-wife since a) she knows I\u2019m transgender, b) knows how our mutual friend might react and, you know, c) might have some insight on how our TWO KIDS WILL TAKE THE NEWS!!!<\/p>\n

Not that I have much anxiety about THAT\u2026 <ahem><\/p>\n

After a series of postponements and delays, she finally makes it over late Sunday night.<\/p>\n

I change from \u201cgirl\u201d mode before she arrives, but let me first go off on a tangent and say how much I LOVE geeky girl t-shirts. I found the most awesome Bloo juniors T (from\u00a0Foster\u2019s Home for Imaginary Friends<\/i>) and I gotta say I looked pretty cute in it with my fabulous yoga pants and clogs. I think this might become my go-to girl look at home.<\/p>\n

Okay, tangent over.<\/p>\n

My ex arrives and one would think this would be easy, but it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

You see, I first told her 20 some years ago, the same night we got engaged. Right before we got engaged, in fact, in case it was a deal breaker for her.<\/p>\n

She was very supportive back then, at least at first. Then not so much. I mean, she\u00a0wanted<\/i> to be supportive, but life doesn\u2019t always play out the way you want it to. And I get that. The person you fall in love with, the MAN you fall in love with, probably shouldn\u2019t have better legs than you. So I stopped dressing. At least in body. I\u2019m not sure I stopped in mind.<\/p>\n

Anyway, life happened and our marriage eventually fell apart. Not over being transgender, though that certainly didn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

So we got separated. Got divorced. Amicable for the most part. Very amicable when compared to other divorces we witnessed from afar.<\/p>\n

Moving back to present, I give her my rehearsed preamble. Oldest in college. Youngest a senior in high school and looking at art schools. Come summer 2015, there\u2019s not much to keep me in Maryland other than the cat. So I\u2019ve decided to move to New York City next year.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m stalling. Look at me stall. It\u2019s amazing how well I stall.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been going through some self-examination, yada yada yada. I\u2019ve started therapy, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.<\/p>\n

Deep breath.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve finally accepted that I\u2019m transgender and I don\u2019t want to hide it anymore. I don\u2019t know where this journey is going to take me, but I\u2019m excited to see where it\u2019s going to end up. And scared. Definitely scared out of my freakin\u2019 mind.<\/p>\n

She smiles warmly and tells me she\u2019s thrilled for me \u2014 and asks if I want a hug.<\/p>\n

Oh god, yes.<\/p>\n

We embrace and so much pent up shame\/relief\/fear\/stress\/you-name-it from the past 40 years comes pouring out.<\/p>\n

We spend another hour together, me sharing my heart with her and her being more supportive than I had hoped.<\/p>\n

Maybe our marriage wasn\u2019t destined to last, but to quote the wonderful Paul Williams from \u201cHere\u2019s Another Fine Mess\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

We loved for a while, you can\u2019t call that losing<\/i>
\nIf I knew our love was gonna end this way<\/i>
\nI\u2019d live it over and I wouldn\u2019t change a day\u2026<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I just hope she isn\u2019t still jealous of my legs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So There’s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. \u2014 My next big step is to come out to friends, co-workers and family about being transgender. I decide to do a test run with my ex-wife since a) she knows […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-so-theres-that"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=594"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":599,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions\/599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}