{"id":460,"date":"2014-10-19T13:33:31","date_gmt":"2014-10-19T17:33:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/?p=460"},"modified":"2023-05-02T20:19:39","modified_gmt":"2023-05-03T00:19:39","slug":"adventures-of-an-impossible-girl-day-27-mint-juleps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/adventures-of-an-impossible-girl-day-27-mint-juleps\/","title":{"rendered":"So There’s That, Day 27: Mint Juleps"},"content":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

With New York City mostly clued into my transition, it\u2019s time to turn my attention closer to home and begin the coming out process all over again.<\/p>\n

But while New York City has been pretty open armed about this, I\u2019m more than a little nervous about the Maryland\/Virginia crowd on a few counts.<\/p>\n

One, this region has known me for a long time. Well over 20 years. So I\u2019ve had a long history with this circle of friends as a guy. And most definitely as a guy\u2019s guy. A father. A husband. Football fanatic. So this gender revelation might take a little more time than I\u2019d like to be filed, stamped, indexed and accepted.<\/p>\n

Two, this circle tends to be a little more\u2026 well\u2026 judgey judge.<\/p>\n

So with renewed apprehension, I invite my first Maryland\/Virginia friend over for a night of college football, food and \u201cthe latest news.\u201d<\/p>\n

He and I have been extraordinarily close friends over the years, but because of\u2026 shall we say, a misunderstanding\u2026 our friendship is not nearly as close as it once was. We\u2019re still friends, still speak amiably, but that bond of\u00a0special<\/i>\u00a0friendship, that \u201cSpecial Relationship\u201d Neil Burnside speaks of in\u00a0The Sandbaggers<\/i>, is no longer there.<\/p>\n

So you can imagine the raw mileage of pacing I achieve in the house before he arrives. I guess it\u2019s a good thing I have hardwood floors \u2019cause there\u2019d be a damn groove in the carpet by now.<\/p>\n

He arrives a little before the start of the Notre Dame-Florida St. game, and I make some of my famous feta salsa as we settle in. I then tell him I have some news to share. But glancing at the TV, I realize I don\u2019t have enough time to complete my story before kickoff.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026 it\u2019s going to have to wait until halftime.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shoots me a good-naturedly, are-you-serious look. I can\u2019t help but laugh. \u201cFor the record,\u201d I add, hoping to recover just a bit, \u201cnot gay, not dying of cancer. You can knock those two off the list.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cue awkward pause. <sigh> Yeah, definitely not my best moment.<\/p>\n

The first half of the game comes to a close over an hour later with Notre Dame up 17-10, and I figure that between halftime and my TIVO, I got a good 45 minutes to get through my story.<\/p>\n

Now let me be clear. He has been extraordinarily patient with me. If the shoe were on the other foot, I\u2019d probably have shown my traditional patience\u2026 and told him, fuck the game, tell me what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n

I lean into the deep breathing I mastered on my initial coming outs and explain first my move to New York, then the legacy of my stuttering, and the finally acceptance of being \u2014 tada! \u2014 transgender.<\/p>\n

Much to my surprise, he takes it in stride, very much in stride and with a smile, tells me I seem happier than he\u2019s seen me in ages. And\u00a0he\u2019s<\/i>\u00a0happy for\u00a0me<\/i>, adding, \u201cIf you don\u2019t mind my saying, I\u2019m proud of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t mind at all. It\u2019s actually kinda cool. He smiles again and explains his fairly nonplussed reaction by relating that he grew up, almost literally, in the theater and saw all kinds of lifestyle and wardrobe choices. Lifestyle and wardrobe choices that were wholeheartedly accepted by the theater community.<\/p>\n

We spend the next hour talking about my decision, my state of mind, my wardrobe choices and ignore the game that was the pretext for the evening, at least until Notre Dame gets majorly hosed by the refs at the end of the game.<\/p>\n

But it is at this point that, in his effort to state emphatically that he doesn\u2019t care how I dress, he says something that sets my hackles on end, or whatever it is that hackles do.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t care if you\u2019re in the kitchen making mint juleps, you\u2019re still my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

And this is what goes through my mind\u2026<\/p>\n

Mint juleps? Seriously? As in the Kentucky Derby? Is that what he thinks this is about? That I waltz around the house in a Southern ball gown with an enormous slanted hat sipping mint freakin\u2019 juleps?<\/i><\/p>\n

I mean, I know he means well. I know he means really well, but this, for some reason, really freakin\u2019 bothers me.<\/p>\n

And heavens knows I\u2019m not prone to overreacting.<\/p>\n

Okay, for those of you not in the know, that is what we like to call sarcasm. To be honest, at times I think I\u2019m living in a game of \u201cWhat Are You Trying to Say?\u201d fromWhose Line Is It Anyway?<\/i>\u00a0And if that is too obscure a reference, since obscure references are how I roll, I suggest you watch the short skit for yourself on YouTube\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So yeah. It\u2019s probably me.<\/p>\n

That said, the evening ends pleasantly enough, if not triumphantly enough for the Fighting Irish, and we part closer friends than when we started tonight. But after he leaves, I park myself in a lawn chair in my backyard and stare at the stars.<\/p>\n

Why can\u2019t I shake the mint juleps comment? I mean, this went better than I could have imagined. Way better. He was more supportive than I had ever hoped. I should be enjoying yet another psychological high, but I\u2019m not. I can\u2019t stop dwelling on \u201cmint juleps.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s the self-loathing inherent in being writer, that part of me who endlessly ignores the good reviews and focuses only on the bad. Because to tell the truth, maybe those Kentucky Derby hats aren\u2019t so bad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So There\u2019s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within. \u2014 With New York City mostly clued into my transition, it\u2019s time to turn my attention closer to home and begin the coming out process all over again. But while New […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-so-theres-that"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=460"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":713,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions\/713"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/typingmonkeys.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}