So There’s That, Day 1: New Beginnings

So There’s That: Adventures in Transgendering chronicled my transition in 2014. One hopes the gentle readers will forgive any awkward or anachronistic language within.

—

I’ve been struggling with gender identity for most of my life.

It feels so freeing to say that now.

It was 40 years ago, literally, that I crossdressed for the first time. I was eight years old and tried on a cute little dress in the basement of a local thrift shop. And it made me feel so… alive. Almost electric.

But I’ve hidden that part of me from the world, purged it, denied it — if it’s a stage of death and dying — I’ve done it.

So in the past week I decided this is no longer tolerable. To quote All That Jazz (and Dr. Kübler-Ross on the final stage of death and dying), “I accept!”

I am transgender, hear me roar… and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be ashamed of it anymore.

So I bit the bullet and made two appointments for this week. One with a gender specialist and a second with a hair stylist to get my hair cut in a more feminine style (finally!).

I am so excited right now. I’m sure the fear will creep in, but right now, I am stupid, giggly happy.