Fourth and Long: The Inaugural Column
Back in 2007 and 2008, I wrote a weekly online pro football column dubbed “Fourth and Long” for the late Football for Breakfast website. One hopes the gentle reader will enjoy this blast from 9/12/07…
Welcome to the inaugural Fourth and Long column from Football for Breakfast. Everybody and their sister writes a Monday morning football column so I decided that I needed to do something (completely) different like a Tuesday morning column. But Peter King owns Monday AND Tuesday mornings (bastard!) with Monday Morning Quarterback and MMQB — Tuesday Edition, so I’m taking the path of least resistance and doing a Wednesday morning column. At least until Peter King does MMQB — Wednesday Edition (bastard!).
Let me introduce the weekly features (with more to come in future weeks)…
Larry King Ramblings
Remember Larry King’s old USA Today column? This is my homage to that wonderful bit of inanity.
Isn’t it great to have football back?
Who needs the preseason? Randy Moss didn’t even practice and looked like a man among boys on that 51-yard TD catch running past three Jet DBs. 9 catches, 183 yards. Wonder if the Packers regret not trading that 4th round pick for him.
The Patriots are caught spying… again! Suddenly every team in America is revealing that the Patriots were spying on them. I’m interested to see what sort of punishment Goodell will be meting out.
Isn’t the difference between winning and losing amazing? The Broncos make a last second kick and suddenly everything is rosy. Wonder what the pundits would be saying if Elam missed that kick? Probably that Cutler will never have the Elway touch.
Speaking of Elway, remember when he couldn’t win the big game? After one particularly ignominious Super Bowl loss, the joke going around was that Elway had attempted suicide after the game. He put the gun to his head, pulled the trigger and missed. But now he is remembered as one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time. I guess winning a couple of Super Bowls will do that to you.
Is it just me or are the Eagles a better team when they don’t rely upon Donovan McNabb? Don’t get me wrong, McNabb is a terrific QB, but the rest of the players seem to wait for him to make a play instead of acting like a team when Garcia stepped in last year.
My prayers go out to the Kevin Everett and his family. Here’s hoping that recent news reports that suggest he might recover enough to walk again are accurate.
The Heidi Chronicles
Another homage, this time to the legendary Heidi game, covers my random thoughts on the television coverage and commercials of the 2007 NFL season.
Reggie Bush has become so smooth in commercials this year. Last year, he looked like a stiff and now he’s holding his own against Peyton Manning.
Is it just me or is the NBC pre-game “Football in America” simply unwatchable? The banter feels shockingly insincere.
ESPN’s Monday Night Football, year two is much better than year one. The improved chemistry is palpable and Kornheiser, Jaworski and Tirico seem be enjoying themselves immensely. But the halftime version of Pardon the Interruption just doesn’t cut it, and I love PTI.
Chad, that’s it? A coat?
Should pro football games really end at 2:00am? The NFL and ESPN need to come up with a better way to celebrate the end of opening weekend.
The Joe Pisarcik Award
In the rush to break stories first, websites and media outlets have been reporting more and more misleading or inaccurate information. From Eli Manning’s (slightly) separated shoulder to Charlie Frye (definitely) staying in Cleveland, a lot of pundits (from ESPN to internet sites) have gotten some of these reports spectacularly wrong. I don’t mind rumors flying around at lightning speed (it’s kinda fun, actually), but no one seems to be keeping score. Until now.
Starting next week, I’ll be presenting the Joe Pisarcik Award of Miracle in the Meadowlands fame detailing the most inaccurate reporting out there.
Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?
Thanks to Coach Mora, I will be picking the playoff teams as I see them for the week based on best records and personal bias. For those of you offended that your team is missing, bear in mind that I am rewarding those teams who are winning now (and frankly may not be winning later). If your team is so great, they will actually be in the playoffs come January, a much better reward than being listed in a column that no one reads.
AFC
#1 Seed – Indianapolis Colts (1-0): The defending champions certainly looked like it in the second half against the Saints.
#2 Seed – New England Patriots (1-0): This team is scary good. And how fair is it that the Patriots have improved on special teams with Ellis Hobbs returning a kickoff an NFL record 108 yards?
#3 Seed – Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0): Four TDs for Big Ben, but only 12 for 23 passing. The Steelers need a bigger challenge to know if they are truly back, but a nice inaugural win for Mike Tomlin.
#4 Seed – San Diego (1-0): Even though the Chargers pull out the win, they certainly did not look impressive. The Bears stuff LT for 25 yards on 17 carries. I am surprised by the number of commentators who are calling this a positive win. The Chargers did not look good in this game. Does it mean they will miss the playoffs? No. But just because they are labeled the most talented team in the history of the NFL, does not mean this was a good win.
Wild Card #1 – Tennessee Titans (1-0): All Vince Young does is win.
Wild Card #2 – Houston Texans (1-0): Two sacks and fumble recovery for touchdown for Mario Williams who has been unfairly maligned for not being Reggie Bush or Vince Young. And Schaub had a nice game to give the Texans a much-deserved opening win.
NFC
#1 Seed – Dallas Cowboys (1-0): Romo is very impressive, but self-described defensive genius Wade Phillips better fix that porous defense. And with two TD catches, T.O. staves off talk of dropped passes for another week.
#2 Seed – Carolina Panther (1-0): Jake is back on track.
#3 Seed – Green Bay Packers (1-0): Big win over the Eagles. Brett Favre still loves to play football.
#4 Seed – Seattle Seahawks (1-0): The best of the West.
Wild Card #1: Detroit Lions (1-0): A win is a win is a win. Maybe Kitna isn’t so crazy after all.
Wild Card #2: Minnesota Vikings (1-0): Adrian Peterson looks really good. 100-yard game and what a sweet touchdown catch and run.
The Battle for Brian Brohm (or Darren McFadden or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)
The teams most likely to ‘earn’ the top pick in the 2008 draft…
#1 – Atlanta Falcons (0-1): What a long season this is going to be for Falcons fans. Joey Harrington’s third chance to be a star in this league looks to end like the first two.
#2 – Cleveland Browns (0-1): Romeo, oh Romeo. Poor handling of the QB situation is coming back to haunt Romeo Crennel. How much longer before he realizes that Brady Quinn is the future of this franchise and needs to get game experience.
#3 – Kansas City Chiefs (0-1): I love Herm Edwards (“You play to win the game!”), but maybe he should spend less time doing commercials for the NFL Network and more time getting his team ready.
#4 – Miami Dolphins (0-1): Everyone seems to be praising Cam Cameron for going for the TD at the end of the first half, but I still think he should have kicked the FG.
#5 – Oakland Raiders (0-1): Until this team actually wins a game, it’s hard not to keep them on the list.