Fourth and Long: Schadenfreude
Back in 2007 and 2008, I wrote a weekly online pro football column dubbed “Fourth and Long” for the late Football for Breakfast website. One hopes the gentle reader will enjoy this blast from 10/10/07…
My Dad shared a wonderful German word with me this week.
Schadenfreude.
Gaining delight from the misfortune of others.
As I pondered this Teutonic morsel of verbal perfection, it occurred to me that schadenfreude defines the exact problem I have with many Internet sports bloggers and commentators. They seem to take pleasure in pointing out the mistakes and faults of professional athletes, coaches and talking heads.
It may have been inevitable what with the epic proliferation of sports blogs and websites on the Internet, 24/7/365 sports networks on cable, and endless hours of sports radio. Daily, we are inundated with more and more brain-numbing minutiae detailing every team, coach and player. And we as sports fans consume this increase of information and demand more and more at a quicker and quicker pace.
But even all of this is not enough.
We have stooped to reporting locker room scuttlebutt whispered around the league. Word on the street that previously remained inside the inner circle of professional sports.
And now this baseless speculation has become headline sports news.
We have devolved into spreading questionable office gossip from unnamed and unknown sources by people with no sense of journalistic integrity.
And when these rumormongerers are challenged, when these stories are put under inspection, we are smugly told to prove them wrong, a classic ploy to deflect from the real issue.
This past week is a prime example. It was rumored that Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid was going to resign during the bye week due to family matters. The story festered on some rumor websites and blogs before breaking into the mainstream media as a full-blown story.
Was it based on fact or idle speculation? I don’t know. But I do know that Andy Reid is still the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles as their bye week comes to a close.
The Eagles and Reid have vigorously denied this story in no uncertain terms. But even that is not enough. Bloggers are suggesting that this is just PR protecting the Eagles who are buying time until Reid does resign.
But what happens if Andy Reid doesn’t resign? Will everyone who engaged in yellow journalism stand up and admit they were wrong?
Will they claim that Reid considered resigning at the time but has since changed his mind?
Will they blame their unnamed and unknown sources?
No, because by February, if Andy Reid is still the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, we will have moved onto the next story and the next unfounded rumor.
Well, this columnist will not forget this story. If Andy Reid retires, I will happily admit I was wrong about this story.
But if Andy Reid is still coaching the Philadelphia Eagles come 2008, I will remind everyone of the travesty perpetrated against Coach Reid.
And if these yellow journalists get a little comeuppance in the process, I may indulge in a little schadenfreude myself.
‘Larry King’ Ramblings
What an amazing game Monday night between the Dallas Cowboys and the Buffalo Bills. No matter what the Bills did, the Cowboys just kept coming back. And how prophetic was Bills Parcells? In a list of commandments he gave to Tony Romo, he said that a quarterback needs to be a leader in the huddle regardless of how many interceptions he has just thrown. I wonder if Parcells ever envisioned it working after 5 INTs.
This really sets up Sunday’s Patriots-Cowboys matchup. Humble pie vs. brash confidence. Should be fun to watch. My prediction? Patriots get to 6-0.
Did anyone notice that the Patriots have a four-game lead in the AFC East after five games. They could clinch a playoff berth by Thanksgiving!
Poor Trent Green. Another concussion and his career is probably over and frankly should be. On the bright side, much like Joe Theismann’s final year, the talk will be about his horrendous injury and not his poor play.
Another quarterback injury has Matt Leinart nursing a broken collar bone. Will Kurt Warner be the comeback story of the year? And did you see the standing ovation Warner received in St. Louis? What a great sports town.
Kansas City looks dreadful. How they scored 30 on the Chargers I’ll never know.
And speaking of the Chargers, let’s be crystal clear. They’ve already lost the first-round bye to the Patriots and the Colts. They’ve already lost any chance of a wild card. The good news, is the AFC West is so weak that as long as they win their division games, they should host a playoff game Wild Card weekend. Of course for all the complaining about Marty Schottenheimer’s playoff record, getting a first round bye is the same thing as winning in the first round of the playoffs. In my book, A.J. Smith and Norv Turner need to get to the AFC Championship game for this season to be a success. And remember, one win does not a season make. Look at the Philadelphia Eagles. They beat the Lions 56-21 and that didn’t do much for their season’s fortunes.
Carolina, despite the win in New Orleans, is in big, big trouble now that Delhomme is done for the season. Carr may be gutsy (returning to the game after severely injuring his back) but he is proving to be a very pedestrian QB. And I don’t think 43-year-old Vinny Testaverde is going to be the answer.
How great is it that Green Bay can prosper as a football town with a population of only 103,000? More people fit in Michigan Stadium than live in the entire city of Green Bay. Wow.
‘Heidi’ Chronicles
What is up with only three 4:00 pm games this past Sunday? Nine early games? NINE? Are you kidding me? Couldn’t the NFL have shifted a couple of games to the late slot?
Of course with no 4:00 pm games running late, I finally got to watch highlights on CBS. Bill Cowher is really good.
I then Tivo’ed NBC’s ‘Football Night in America.’ The gabfest starts at 7:00, but I didn’t realize that highlights don’t start until 7:15 and are wrapped up by 8:00. The highlights portion of the show is much better than the banter and sponsored segments in the final 30 minutes.
Did you know that FOX is the only broadcast network to feature a defensive player (Howie Long) as studio talking head? Here’s the breakdown with ESPN added for good measure…
FOX: 1 civilian (Menefee), 1 QB (Bradshaw), 1 DT (Long), 1 coach (Jimmy Johnson). 7 Super Bowl rings.
CBS: 1 civilian (James Brown), 2 QBs (Marino, Esiason), 1 TE (Sharpe), 1 coach (Cowher). 4 Super Bowl rings.
NBC: 3 civilians (Costas, King, Olbermann), 1 WR (Collinsworth), 2 RBs (Tiki, Bettis). 1 Super Bowl ring.
ESPN: 1 civilian (Berman), 1 LB (Jackson), 1 WR (Keyshawn), 1 RB (Emmitt), 2 coaches (Ditka, Parcells), 1 QB (Young), 9 Super Bowl rings.
Joe Pisarcik-Emily Litella Award
In light of my thoughts about schadenfreude at the beginning of this column, I have decided to retire this section. It feels somewhat hypocritical and off the mark to search for weekly mistakes by the media just so I can point them out. While I will not hesitate to call out egregious and spiteful misreporting, I think it is a mistake to do so on a weekly basis simply to fill space in a column.
Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?
With apologies to Jim Mora, it’s never too early to talk playoffs…
AFC Playoff Seeds
1) Indianapolis Colts (5-0): Missing FIVE starters including Joseph Addai and Marvin Harrison, the Colts crush the Bucs.
2) New England Patriots (5-0): Humble pie. The undefeated Cowboys are next.
3) Pittsburgh Steelers (4-1): Huge shutout win over the Seahawks after the first loss of the season. Especially impressive considering they were missing two top receivers. Definitely the #3 team in the AFC.
4) Oakland Raiders (2-2): The Raiders?!? Only team in the AFC West that doesn’t have a losing record.
5) Jacksonville (3-1): Nice win on the road at Arrowhead.
6) Tennessee Titans (3-1): A win over the Falcons still counts as a win.
NFC Playoff Seeds
1) Dallas Cowboys (5-0): I like the Cowboys swagger. Won’t be enough for the Patriots. But I like the swagger. Definitely the best team in the NFC.
2) Green Bay Packers (4-1): Tough loss wipes away some confidence. Will be interesting to see if they rebound against the Redskins.
3) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2): Bucs beat the Panthers last week for the edge in the NFC South.
4) Arizona Cardinals (3-2): Seattle’s shutout loss to Pittsburgh gives the division to the Cardinals. Will Kurt Warner continue the Cardinal turnaround?
5) Washington Redskins (3-1): Really impressive win against the Lions. One play away from being undefeated.
6) New York Giants (3-2): Three straight wins catapult the Giants to the final playoff slot.
‘John Madden’ Wayback Machine
In honor of Chris Brown nailing a 57-yard game-winning field goal over the weekend, I thought it might be fun to peer back in time at the longest field goals in NFL history.
Unfortunately, the records of professional football in the 1920s weren’t anywhere near as meticulous as they are now but it was believed that several players had kicked field goals of over 50 yards. Legendary Jim Thorpe was said to have routinely drop-kicked field goals of over 50 yards. Paddy Driscoll supposedly kicked two field goals of over 50 yards in one game on September 28, 1924 against the Milwaukee Badgers. Sadly, conflicting accounts of these kicks mean that none of them can be officially recognized.
But we do know that on December 10, 1922, Wilbur “Pete” Henry of the Canton Bulldogs kicked a 45-yard field goal against Toledo Maroons. A future Hall-of-Famer, Henry once boomed a 94-yard punt!
The record was definitively set on October 7, 1934 by Glenn Presnell of the Detroit Lions when he scored the only points of the game, a 54-yard field goal against the Green Bay Packers.
Some 19 years later on September 27, 1953, Bert Rechichar of the Baltimore Colts kicked a 56-yard field goal in the first half of a 13-9 upset of the Chicago Bears. Amazingly, Rechichar, who also played defensive back, intercepted a pass and ran it back for a touchdown, accounting for all the Colts’ points that day.
The modern record was set on November 8, 1970 by Tom Dempsey who was born with a club foot and no toes. With the New Orleans Saints down 17-16 with 2 seconds left in Tulane Stadium, Dempsey, kicking with a special shoe, booted a 63-yard winning field goal in straight-ahead fashion! Since this was back when the goal post was on the goal-line, the holder, Joe Scarpati, actually spotted the ball on his own 37-yard line!
On October 25, 1998 with time running out in the first half, Jason Elam of the Denver Broncos, set up to kick a 58-yard field goal against the Jacksonville Jaguars. A delay of game penalty pushed them back five-yards and Elam ended up kicking a 63-yard field goal, tying Dempsey’s record.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant came close to the record on October 22, 2006 when he kicked a 62-yard field goal with 4 seconds left in the game to beat the Philadelphia Eagles 23-21.
But most interesting was an exhibition game on August 25, 2002. Ola Kimrin kicked a 65-yard field goal for the Denver Broncos against the Seattle Seahawks. 65 yards! But alas, since it was an exhibition game, it doesn’t count for the record books. And to make matters worse, he was cut following the game. Why? Because Jason Elam was the starting kicker for the Broncos.
For more information on the NFL field goal record, please visit Mark Bolding’s excellent website and Wikipedia.
Battle for Brian Brohm (or Darren McFadden or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)
Winless teams in the running to ‘earn’ the top pick in the 2008 draft…
#1 – St. Louis Rams (0-5): Gus Frerotte may not be a better QB than Marc Bulger, but he gives the Rams a better chance of winning right now.
#2 – Miami Dolphins (0-5): I hate to say it, but losing Trent Green may end up being a good thing for the Dolphins in the long run.
#3 – New Orleans Saints (0-4): Unfortunately for Saints fans, this team has reverted back to their 2005 form. Though perhaps if they had Ola Kimrin, they would have beaten the Panthers on Sunday.
And now the one-loss teams…
#4 – New York Jets (1-4): Chad Pennington might be done in New York.
#5 – Atlanta Falcons (1-4): Just when it looked like Harrington might turn this thing around, Petrino puts Leftwich in for the final drive.
#6 – Buffalo Bills (1-4): What an amazing performance against the Cowboys. What a devastating loss.
#7 – Minnesota Vikings (1-3): Coming off a bye week so they haven’t gotten appreciably worse.
#8 – Philadelphia Eagles (1-3): Ditto.
#9 – Cincinnati Bengals (1-3): Ditto.
