Fourth and Long: Of Lightning Bolts and Giants

Back in 2007 and 2008, I wrote a weekly online pro football column dubbed “Fourth and Long” for the late Football for Breakfast website. One hopes the gentle reader will enjoy this blast from 1/09/08…

To listen to A.J. Smith, Dean Spanos and the San Diego media, one would think Norv Turner and the Chargers just won the Super Bowl.

After Sunday’s game, Smith claimed that Turner is “…coach of the year, in my mind. He did a spectacular job… His leadership has been incredible.” Spanos added, “It feels really great. It’s been a long time coming, but you can’t say enough good things about Norv and what this team has done.” And Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune gushed that Turner is “…1-0 in January, unbeaten in December (and don’t give me that soft schedule junk; it’s the NFL) – and his players are buying his wares.”

And while the Chargers should be commended for winning their first playoff game since 1994 especially after such an inauspicious start this September, let me be allowed to make a few observations.

Lost in all the cheers and adoration is the fact that the Chargers barely beat a crippled Tennessee Titans team that played without five of their offensive starters. Lost also is the fact that they’ve been this far in the playoffs as recently as last year thanks to a 14-2 record and a first-round bye. And it was the loss to the New England Patriots in that divisional round of the playoffs that was viewed as such a colossal failure by A.J. Smith that Marty Schottenheimer had to pay for it with his job.

So before we crown A.J. Smith, Dean Spanos and Norv Turner the greatest management-coach tandem in NFL history for beating the punchless Titans on wild card weekend, let’s wait to see how the Chargers perform against the Colts.

Because if A.J. Smith is to be taken at his word at the end of last season, nothing short of a berth in the AFC championship game should be good enough.

And believe me, if Norv Turner and the Chargers do beat the Colts on Sunday, I will be the first one to publicly apologize and acknowledge the wisdom of A.J. Smith and the Chargers organization this off-season.

At least the first one to apologize on Wednesday when I publish my next column.

But to me, the bigger story of the past weekend was not the Chargers winning, or even the unbelievably exciting finish in Pittsburgh.

No, it was the New York Giants finally winning a playoff game with Eli Manning at the helm against the second-ranked defense in the league.

More importantly it was Eli Manning leading the Giants to victory by completing 20 of 27 passes with two touchdowns against a Buccaneers defense that dared Eli to beat them through the air. A defense led by Ronde Barber who publicly and unnecessarily disparaged Eli Manning on the radio.

Wasn’t it enough for Ronde’s twin brother Tiki to trash Eli all season?

One wonders what Eli ever did to the Barber twins to engender such animosity.

Did Eli’s pedigree threaten to overshadow Tiki in New York and Ronde in Tampa?

So it was refreshing to see Eli finally get his signature playoff win after years of being bashed by the New York press and the Barber twins for not being enough of a savior. This despite leading the Giants to three consecutive playoff appearances in his first three full seasons as a starter.

And if the T.O., Jessica and Romo show continues as it has the last few weeks of the season, Eli might just come out of this weekend with an even bigger prize. His first berth in a conference championship game, a full three years ahead of his brother.

Come to think of it, maybe we can get Eli and Peyton to match up against Ronde and Tiki in a tag-team wrestling match.

Now that would be something to talk about.

‘Larry King’ Ramblings

Last week I was highly critical of the Detroit Lions for firing offensive coordinator Mike Martz and placing the blame for the ills of their season upon his head like some biblical scapegoat instead of looking for a more appropriate candidate like Matt Millen (31-81 record as general manager) or anyone involved in their defense that ranked dead last in the league.

So imagine my shock when I read that the Lions had promoted Jim Colletto to offensive coordinator.

Who is Jim Colletto you ask?

This is the man who coached the Lions offensive line in 2007, an offensive line that gave up 54 sacks, third most in the league and only one behind the league-worst 49ers and Chiefs. And an offensive line boasting the second worst rushing attack in the NFL behind only the Chiefs.

I’m sorry, was the offensive line coach from the Chiefs not available?

Okay, so maybe Jim Colletto had a bad year. We all of have bad years, right?

Then it hit me.

This is the same Jim Colletto who coached at Purdue in the 1990s where he managed a 21-41-3 record over six season as head coach and offensive coordinator. The same Jim Colletto who stated, “When I get some players with talent, you will see that I am a good coach.”

Joe Tiller made mincemeat of that statement by taking over the Boilermakers and immediately leading them to a 9-3 finish and a #15 ranking. And in a delicious touch of irony, Jim Colletto was hired by talent-rich Notre Dame as offensive coordinator under Bob Davies that same season and lost to Tiller’s talent-poor Boilermakers in the second game of the season.

Colletto left Notre Dame after two dreadful seasons and a penchant for embarrassing quotes. When asked about Notre Dame’s lack of scoring in the third quarter, he quipped that with everyone going to the bathroom and getting drinks during halftime, there wasn’t enough time to make any adjustments. The following season when asked why he installed a pass offense when Notre Dame was built for running the football, Colletto responded, “If we are going to get the quality wideout to come to Notre Dame, we can’t run the ball 100 times. The game we are going to play is designed so we can get good wide receivers.”

So good luck Lions fans. The only silver lining in your future is that your offensive output might soon match that of your defense.

As for Mike Martz, we’ll find out just how good he is as he attempts to revitalize the bottom-ranked offense of the San Francisco 49ers. And call it a hunch, but I think he’ll do just fine.

‘Heidi’ Chronicles

I haven’t had much of an opportunity to talk about John Madden and Sunday Night Football this season having spent most of my time lambasting the travesty that is Football Night in America. So I would like to take a moment and acknowledge the sheer joy and excitement that John Madden brings to every game he has covered since 1979 when he became a color commentator for CBS.

Saturday night’s Jaguars-Steelers wild card playoff game was his last broadcast of the season and, as usual, we were treated to a few classic Madden moments…

When a Ben Roethlisberger pass, intended for TE Heath Miller, was deflected into the hands of WR Hines Ward, Madden noted in the understatement of the year, “That’s not the first time a ball has ever been deflected here,” Later, after Al Michaels ribbed Madden by showing a replay of the famous deflection of the Immaculate Reception that cost his Raiders a playoff victory in Pittsburgh back on December 23, 1972, Madden quipped, “We’re past that, that’s gone, that’s no more… (pause) That does happen here in Pittsburgh… and (seeing) that deflection there… I just took it back and I’m sorry. I’ll give it up later.”

Later in the game after 345-pound behemoth Grady Jackson pressured Ben Roethlisberger into throwing an interception, Madden made like Groucho Marx, “He’s the guy that slipped through right there. How at 345 pounds you slip through anywhere, I have no idea.”

And in another classic Madden moment when a pass that hit the ground was ruled a catch, Madden commented in only the way he can, “If you have both hands on the ball, there’s still going to be some ball left over.”

Finally when Hines Ward barreled over a defender instead of running out of bounds, Madden gushed, “You gotta love Hines Ward. He’s a wide receiver who plays like a linebacker… (pause) Sometimes he plays like a nose tackle.”

I know some people have tired of his comments over the years and his periodic statements of the obvious, but for me, there is no better color commentator in pro football than John Madden.

‘Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?’

Perhaps I was premature in retiring ‘Playoffs?!?’ this year.

So much like Bill Parcells returning to NFL, welcome back a slightly different edition of ‘Playoffs?!?’ that previews the divisional playoff weekend ahead…

Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers – 4:30PM Saturday (FOX)

Storyline: Ageless wonder Brett Favre leads the youngest team in the league against his old coach.

Prediction: Packers defense is too much for the wounded Matt Hasselbeck and the Pack returns to the NFC Championship game.

Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots – 8:00PM Saturday (CBS)

Storyline: Patriots continue their march towards the perfect season. In their way? A young, but physical Jaguars squad that just out-Steelered the Steelers.

Prediction: Patriots get challenged for 30 minutes before finally pulling away in the fourth quarter. The bigger question… will the Patriots survive unscathed in a clash with the hard-hitting Jaguars?

San Diego Chargers at Indianapolis Colts – 1:00PM Sunday (CBS)

Storyline: Chargers beat the defending champs on a missed Vinatieri field goal earlier in the season. Will the Colts gain their revenge or will the Norv and Chargers do what Marty couldn’t?

Prediction: Colts win in a romp.

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys – 4:30PM Sunday (FOX)

Storyline: Is the third time the charm for the Giants? Will T.O. play? Will Romo return to his midseason form?

Prediction: Look for the Giant upset.

‘John Madden’ Wayback Machine

With the very real prospect of a perfect season for the New England Patriots this year, it is perhaps time to examine in a little more detail some of the previous teams in NFL history that have come ever so close to perfection.

In 1934, the defending champion Chicago Bears finished the regular season an unprecedented 13-0 under legendary coach George Halas, outscoring their opponents by a shocking 286-86. Winners of the NFL Western Division title for the second consecutive year, the Bears with Bronco Nagurski prepared to play the 8-5 NFL Eastern Division champion New York Giants in the second annual NFL Championship game on December 9, 1934.

As fate would have it, a freezing rain froze the field of the Polo Grounds in New York City the night before. But even in such dreadful conditions, the Bears ground out a 13-3 lead through three quarters.

Yet the most critical factor of the game would be decided at halftime when Giants coach Steve Owen sent his equipment manager, Abe Cohen, to find sneakers for his players, hoping they would give the Giants a slight edge on the frozen field. Unable to find any stores open, Abe returned with eight pairs of sneakers borrowed from Manhattan College’s basketball team.

These sneakers would change the course of NFL history as the New York Giants scored four touchdowns in the fourth quarter, beginning with a 28-yard touchdown pass from quarterback Ed Danowski and a 42-yard touchdown gallop by running back Ken Strong. Strong would add an 11-yard touchdown run and Danowski would cap the victory with an 8-yard scamper of this own.

The Giants scored 27 unanswered points in the fourth quarter to stun the Bears 30-13 in what is now known in NFL lore as ‘The Sneakers Game.’

It’s makes one wonder, 73 years later, what the weather forecast is for Foxboro Saturday night…