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Fourth and Long: Headlines You May Never See

2007 December 12
by Jen DiGiacomo

Back in 2007 and 2008, I wrote a weekly online pro football column dubbed “Fourth and Long” for the late Football for Breakfast website. One hopes the gentle reader will enjoy this blast from 12/12/07…

Let’s face it. The best chances to beat the Patriots are already in the past.

The Colts were up by ten at home with nine minutes left on the clock and couldn’t get it done.

The Eagles had a win in their sights during the final minutes when an ill-advised pass derailed their upset bid.

The Ravens won the game outright until a timeout and an offsides penalty wiped out back-to-back fourth-down stops with under two minutes to go.

The blueprint on how to beat the Patriots is out there. Run against them. Throw the short slant. Jam their receivers. Pressure Brady.

But who will actually pull it off? Who will beat the Patriots when all is said and done?

The truth is probably nobody.

So instead of going on ad nauseum about how another team failed to upset the Patriots, I will take you on a journey to observe sports headlines of the next few weeks.

Headlines that will, undoubtedly, never see print.

Week 15: SPYGATE PAYBACK: MANGINI, JETS STUN BELICHICK, PATRIOTS

Why this headline rings true: Mangini knows the Patriots better than any coach in the league. He’s beaten the Patriots before. He’s already beaten the Steelers this season so we know the Jets are capable of big things. And the Patriots won’t be taking the 3-10 Jets very seriously, especially at home.

Why this headline rings hollow: The Patriots already beat the Jets 38-14 in week one and that was before Mangini started this whole Spygate mess. Don’t you think Belichick and the Patriots have been drooling all season for this game?

Week 16: GHOSTS OF ’72: ‘IMPERFECT” DOLPHINS SURPRISE ‘PERFECT’ PATRIOTS

Why this headline rings true: If the winless Dolphins upset the undefeated Patriots in week 16, we would experience the ultimate dose of NFL karma. And believe it or not, the last regular season loss the Patriots suffered was at the hands of the Dolphins last season 21-0.

Why this headline rings hollow: Since that game, the Patriots haven’t lost in the regular season and the Dolphins have yet to win. And no matter matter how karmic a Dolphins’ victory would be, it’s just not going to happen. Witness week seven when the Patriots crushed the Dolphins in Miami 49-28. Oh, and didn’t former Dolphins coach Don Shula mention something about an asterisk?

Week 17: TAKE THAT PEYTON! ELI, GIANTS KNOCK OUT PATRIOTS

Why this headline rings true: There is no reason for the Patriots to play all their starters during the final week of the season with homefield advantage locked up. Who wants to risk an injury before a run at the Super Bowl?

Why this headline rings hollow: An undefeated season is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Belichick, Brady and the rest of the Patriots have wanted to go down in history as the greatest team in NFL history since this whole Spygate furor started. And beating the Giants to become the first team to go 16-0 during the regular season is exactly what they have in mind.

Divisional Playoffs: CHARGERS SHOCK PATRIOTS; TURNER OUTCOACHES BELICHICK

Why this headline rings true: When you have LT and a stellar defense, anything is possible. Remember, the Chargers were supposed to win it all last year and should have beaten the Patriots in the playoffs if not for a few quirky turns of fate.

Why this headline rings hollow: In week two, the Patriots dismantled the Chargers 38-14 and despite what A.J. Smith might think, Norv Turner is not a big-game coach. And he might not be a small-game coach either. Of course, don’t be shocked if the Jaguars upset the Chargers Wild Card weekend and play the Patriots instead…

Divisional Playoffs, Take 2: JAGUARS SHOCK PATRIOTS; GARRARD OUTPLAYS BRADY

Why this headline rings true: The Jags have a power running game, a QB who doesn’t throw interceptions, and a hard-hitting defense that might be able to take advantage of the Patriots’ perceived weaknesses.

Why this headline rings hollow:The Jaguars have yet to prove they can win the big game and Florida teams seldom play well in the frigid northern climates during January championship football.

AFC Championship: PEYTON’S PAYBACK: COLTS BEAT PATS IN PLAYOFFS… AGAIN!

Why this headline rings true: The Colts are the defending world champions and they almost beat the Patriots without starting left tackle Tony Ugoh and All-Pro WR Marvin Harrison earlier this year after stunning them in the championship game last season. And the Colts may be an even better team this year with a running game more suited for the cold than the Patriots.

Why this headline rings hollow: This is the game the Patriots have been waiting for ever since their shield of invulnerability was shattered last season in the loss to the Colts after being up 18. This game, perhaps more than any other all season, is the one that means the most to Patriots who will be at home playing their best football of the season.

What About the Steelers? Okay… one more headline to satisify those of you from Pittsburgh…

AFC Championship, Take 2: STEELERS STUN PATS; SMITH INTERCEPTS BRADY 3 TIMES!

Happy?

Now onto the final game…

Super Bowl: COWBOYS END PATRIOTS PERFECTION; T.O. HUMBLE IN VICTORY

Why this headline rings true: The Cowboys have an aura about them this season that is hard to ignore. Tony Romo might be exactly the kind of improvising QB needed to pull off the upset. And the Cowboys were leading the Patriots in the third quarter earlier this season.

Why this headline rings hollow: Let’s not forget how that game ended. The Patriots crushed the Cowboys 48-27 in Dallas. The Cowboys, frankly, have yet to demonstrate that they can play the style of smash-mouth football needed to beat the Patriots. And who says the Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl?

Super Bowl, Take 2: PACKERS SHOCK PATRIOTS; FAVRE DECLARED NATIONAL TREASURE

Okay, so maybe none of these headlines will come true.

So what is the most likely headline at the end of the season?

PATRIOTS PERFECT AT 19-0; BELICHICK GIVES EVERYONE THE FINGER

‘Larry King’ Ramblings

Have you ever watched a game and known how it was going to end? That one team just seemed destined to come from behind in a miraculous fashion? And other comebacks were destined to fall short, no matter what the circumstances were?

Take the Dallas Cowboys who were kept off-balance most of the day by a surprisingly game Detroit Lions team. With the Lions up 27-14, I think a lot of us knew the Cowboys were going to win 28-27 even after Jason Witten fumbled on the six-inch line with six minutes to go. It was no surprise when the Lions missed a 35-yard field goal and failed to recover a Tony Romo fumble in the fourth that probably would have clinched the game. Tony Romo brings a coolness under pressure that made everyone believe that he could and would throw a game-winning touchdown pass in the final seconds. And he did, showing his faith in Witten with 18 seconds to go.

The Philadelphia Eagles comeback, on the other hand, seemed equally destined to fall short. Attempting to send the game against the Giants into overtime, David Akers 57-yards field kick at the end of regulation hit the right upright and bounced back, no good.

It didn’t fall short.

It wasn’t wide.

It hit the upright, tantalizing inches away from a shot at victory in overtime.

Much like most of their efforts this season.

‘Heidi’ Chronicles

On Sunday morning at 11am, I sat down in front of the television to watch, from start to finish, ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown.

For two hours.

But to my surprise, I found the lengthy telecast to be far and away the best NFL pregame show on television. If you can spare the time, I would highly recommend it. Because ESPN covers sports 24/7/365, their news coverage and segments are slicker and better produced than any of the networks. This past week they assembled some genuinely enjoyable pieces on Bill Belichick’s press conferences, a Cowboys-Sopranos parody, an interview with T.O., and the prospects of the Miami Dolphins going 0-16.

The veteran studio team are so good, especially Chris Berman and Tom Jackson, that one is reminded of ESPN’s classic NFL Primetime. Chris Berman is a great studio host, but he periodically slips into a painful parody of himself reminiscent of an overwight celebrity 20 years past his prime repeating worn-out catchphrases that are no longer amusing. Tom Jackson is still one of the best studio analysts around bringing up solid points with an unbelievably professional delivery.

You gotta love Mike Ditka. He knows his football. And he demands and commands respect from the viewers and from the rest of the broadcast team. Keyshawn Johnson is young and full of potential. I look forward to seeing how he develops over the next few years.

And now for a word about Emmitt Smith, the biggest addition to the team this year. Emmitt has been ripped on the Internet for his clumsy choice of words and stumbling delivery, but he’s not actually as bad as he is made out to be. But at this point, he really does come across as an unnecessary fifth wheel and suffers by comparison to a polished and veteran crew.

Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?

With apologies to Jim Mora, it’s never too early to talk playoffs…

AFC Playoff Seeds
1) New England Patriots (13-0): Patriots step it up against the #1 defense in the NFL and clinch a first-round bye.
2) Indianapolis Colts (11-2): Wow. Crushing victory over the Ravens earns the Colts a playoff berth for the sixth consecutive year.
3) Pittsburgh Steelers (9-4): Close for about 34 minutes. Unfortunately, the game was 60 minutes long.
4) San Diego Chargers (8-5): Tremendous comeback win over the Titans after a horrible start has the Chargers thinking January.
5) Jacksonville Jaguars (9-4): Jags bounce back from the Colts loss to put themselves in good shape for the playoffs and a probably first round matchup with the Chargers. Big game against Steelers up next.
6) Cleveland Browns (8-5): Much needed win over the Jets keeps them as the sixth seed.

Still in the Hunt:

Buffalo Bills (7-6): Quietly, the Bills have crept above .500 and face the Browns Sunday in a matchup for the final AFC playoff spot.
Tennessee Titans (7-6): Devastating blow to their playoff hopes after being up 14 in the fourth on the Chargers.

NFC Playoff Seeds
1) Dallas Cowboys (12-1):
Cowboys clinch NFC East for the first time since 1998.
2) Green Bay Packers (11-2): Back on track with big win over the Raiders that clinched the NFC North crown.
3) Seattle Seahawks (9-4): Crushing victory over the Cardinals gives the Seahawks the NFC West.
4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-5): Once Garcia is healthy, we will find out just how good the Bucs really are.
5) New York Giants (9-4): Nice win over the Eagles in Philadelphia. Playoffs are all but assured.
6) Minnesota Vikings (7-6): The Vikings have positioned themselves to get into the playoffs after a dreadful start.

Still in the Hunt:
New Orleans Saints (6-7): Nice win over the Falcons puts the Saints back in the playoff race.
Washington Redskins (6-7): Emotional win over the Bears.
Arizona Cardinals (6-7): This is a game the Cardinals desperately needed.
Detroit Lions (6-7): Heartbreaking loss with only 18 seconds left on the clock.

‘John Madden’ Wayback Machine

The Miami Dolphins, owners of the only perfect season, seem to be on their way to an unprecedented 0-16 season after their loss to Bills. And since we looked at the best records to start a season a few weeks back, it seems only fair to review the worst records to start a season in NFL history.

0-10 Start
1997 Indianapolis Colts finished 3-13.
1993 Cincinnati Bengals finished 3-13.
1984 Houston Oilers finished 3-13.
1983 Houston Oilers finished 2-14.
1971 Buffalo Bills finished 1-13.
1960 Dallas Cowboys finished 0-11-1.
1944 Pittsburgh Steelers finished 0-10.
1943 Cardinals finished 0-10.

0-11 Start
2000 San Diego Chargers finished 1-15.
1984 Buffalo Bills finished 2-14.
1975 San Diego Chargers finished 2-12.
1968 Philadelphia Eagles finished 2-12.
1942 Detroit Lions finished 0-11.

0-12 Start
1977 Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished 2-12.

0-13 Start
2007 Miami Dolphins
1986 Indianapolis Colts finished 3-13.
1962 Oakland Raiders (AFL) finished 1-13.

0-14 Start
1980 New Orleans Saints finished 1-15.
1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished 0-14.

Battle for Darren McFadden (or Colt Brennan or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)

#1 – Miami Dolphins (0-13): Another ugly loss, but at least the Dolphins have learned that Beck is not the answer at QB. At least not yet.
#2 – San Francisco 49ers (3-10): How this team won three games, I’ll never know.
#3 – Atlanta Falcons (3-9): Michael Vick is sentenced to 23 months in prison, Falcons lose to the Saints and then Bobby Petrino resigns to coach at Arkansas. Talk about a bad day.
#4 – St. Louis Rams (3-10): Injuries are killing the Rams. I mean, Brock Berlin at QB?
#5 – New York Jets (3-10): Another tough loss. One wonders if they have something up their sleeves for the Patriots. I mean, wouldn’t that make their season if they won?

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