Fourth and Long: Bad Karma in San Diego

Back in 2007 and 2008, I wrote a weekly online pro football column dubbed “Fourth and Long” for the late Football for Breakfast website. One hopes the gentle reader will enjoy this blast from 10/03/07…

I admit it. I’ve been enjoying the melodrama of the San Diego Chargers this year.

First the hubris of general manager A.J. Smith in firing a coach who had just gone 14-2. Sure Marty Schottenheimer hadn’t won in the playoffs, but his losses were truly heartbreaking, last-second affairs that legends are made of.

The Drive. The Fumble. John Elway.

His two Chargers playoff losses were by three points each.

Three points.

And both games could have been salvaged by last-second field goals. Last-second field goals missed by All-Pro kicker Nate Kaeding. He missed a 40-yarder that would have won the game against the Jets. And a 54-yarder against the Patriots to tie. Imagine what the Chargers would have achieved if Kaeding had hit either of those kicks.

Of course, the same could be said for Scott Norwood and the Buffalo Bills.

Just think of it, the World Champion Buffalo Bills.

But back to the Chargers, A.J. Smith and his ego.

Smith has carefully and successfully fostered an image in the media of being a brilliant judge of talent. So much so that he has been able to leave the impression that he is more responsible for the Chargers success last year than the coaching staff. Smith honestly believes that Marty had nothing to do with the Chargers winning last year.

In fact, it seems he believes that a coach who kowtows to the all-mighty GM would have more success than someone with 200 career victories. How dare Marty disagree on such personnel decisions as getting rid of Drew Brees, Donnie Edwards or hiring Ted Cottrell as defensive coordinator.

Just think if Norv Turner, with a career 58-82-1 record, won a championship. What would simultaneously validate A.J. Smith and invalidate Marty Schottenheimer more than that?

So I eagerly watched the Chargers this season to see if A.J. Smith might get some well-deserved comeuppance, at least temporarily. I mean the Chargers are loaded with talent. Norv Turner couldn’t possibly keep that Ferrari in neutral for the whole season, could he?

CUT TO: Act One – Week One.

ME
What an ugly 14-3 win over the Bears.

CHARGERS’ APOLOGIST
Well, the players are still learning their way under a new
set of coaches, but the defense looks great.

CUT TO: Act One – Week Two

ME
The Chargers lose by 24 points to the Patriots! A primetime blowout made all the more resounding because the Chargers shot their mouths off before the game.

CHARGERS’ APOLOGIST
The Patriots played a perfect game because of the ‘Spygate’ accusations. Anyway, no one believed the Chargers were going to go 16-0. Wait ’til next week.

CUT TO: Act One – Week Three

ME
A stunning loss to the Packers.

CHARGERS’ APOLOGIST
The Packers have a great defense and Brett Favre is a crafty veteran.
But wait ’til next week. The hapless Chiefs are coming to San Diego.

I was content. It was a nice opening to the season. I got to razz A.J. Smith for a couple of weeks. But there was no way the Chargers would lose at home to the Chiefs. One win and all would be well in San Diego again.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the Q.

The Chiefs won.

Not only did they win, they scored 24 unanswered points in the second half and embarrassed the Chargers 30-16.

And A.J. Smith got to listen to the final 3:41 of the game as the San Diego crowd cheered.

Marty! Marty!

Don’t you just love karma?

‘Larry King’ Ramblings

I would love to go on endlessly about Michael Vick, his failed drug test and the new dogfighting charges in Virginia. But I won’t. Vick is paying the penalty for his actions and part of that penalty is not being in the limelight. A limelight that should be reserved for athletes who are playing on the field right now.

Like Rex Grossman.

Okay, bad example, but you get my point.

And speaking of Da Bears, looks like Rex may be the best quarterback the Bears have. Of course, it couldn’t be much worse if they use Devin Hester, their most explosive player, behind center. They could hire Lou Holtz and run the option. Laugh if you will, but it might put more points up on the scoreboard.

Isn’t it great to see how excited Brett Favre gets after throwing a touchdown? He celebrates as much after 421 touchdowns as he did after his first.

And how about the Dolphins? Trent Green really needs to sit. He is killing the Dolphins. Bring in the rookie. It’s time.

And speaking of rookies, who needs Brady Quinn? Derek Anderson has been playing lights out.

Did you see Tony Romo’s 36-yard run after fumble? Of course you did. Every dazzling highlight is just going to cost Jerry Jones another million dollars in guaranteed money.

Trent Edwards might be the real deal. Bill Walsh called Marv Levy just before his death to tout Edwards’ ability.

Panthers are dead without Jake Delhomme. Double-digit loss dead.

I picked the Cardinals to knock off the Steelers this weekend. It doesn’t pay to go up against your former offensive coordinator. He tends to know what defenses the offense is uncomfortable playing against. Of course, I did go 7-7 for the week so what do I know.

The ‘Heidi’ Chronicles

For my money, there is no better studio host than James Brown. FOX really made a mistake losing him.

No late game on FOX this week, so I watched the spectacular Steelers-Cardinals game on CBS ending around 7:25pm. Since CBS cut immediately to ’60 Minutes,’ I switched over to the melodramatic ‘Football Night in America’ on NBC. Do I get highlights? Yes, but I also get about four hours of commercials.

Last year, ESPN’s ‘NFL Primetime’ gave me 12 to 14 highlights in one hour without all the pretentiousness.

This year, NBC gives me feel-good stories, fake banter and only 8 game highlights in 50 minutes. I kid you not.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Is it just me or does Tiki pout when he’s not the focus of the discussion? Chris Collingsworth is always good. And I like the Bus. Tiki is very polished when the spotlight is on him, but watch him when he’s not talking. He looks like his feelings have been hurt. Which is odd for someone who has made a career out of trashing people.

The Joe Pisarcik-Emily Litella Award

ProFootballTalk.com is without a doubt one of the top pro football sites on the Web. It has broken numerous stories over the years and claims to be frequented by a larger number of football insiders. But they also get a lot of things wrong such as famously reporting that Terry Bradshaw had been killed in a car accident this past January.

So on Tuesday, September 25, self-proclaimed PFT Grand Poobah Mike Florio excoriates Surry County prosecutor Gerald Poindexter for not knowing exactly what was presented to the Virginia grand jury handling the state Michael Vick investigation. Florio then ‘publicly’ calls for the Virginia Attorney General to relieve Poindexter of his duties over this lack of competence and urges Virginians to vote Poindexter out of office if the Attorney General refuses to fire him.

The only problem is that in Virginia, prosecutors are not allowed in the grand jury room.

D’oh!

The next day, Florio admits his earlier comments were inaccurate, but states, “…Poindexter would have been wise to make it clear to the reporters who accosted him on Tuesday that, by law, he can’t be in the room at all…”

Wow.

Florio delights in pointing out the media’s every error, mocking them when they get a report wrong. And then assailing them when they don’t apologize to his satisfaction.

So what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Mike, when you use a virtual soapbox to get up on your high horse and ‘publicly’ proclaim that someone should be fired, make sure you get your facts straight.

And if you happened to be wrong after such a public declaration, get off your high horse, step down from your soapbox and admit, unabashedly, that YOU WERE WRONG. Don’t blame someone else for not correcting your error before you made it.

Playoffs?!? Don’t Talk About Playoffs?!?

With apologies to Jim Mora, it’s never too early to talk playoffs…

AFC Playoff Seeds
1) Indianapolis Colts (4-0): Another impressive win.
2) New England Patriots (4-0): These guys are really good.
3) Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1): Still the best in AFC North.
4) Denver Broncos (2-2): Three-way tie for AFC West. I’ll give the tiebreaker to the Broncos.
5) Tennessee Titans (2-1): Early bye week gives Titans the wildcard by 1/2 game.
6) Jacksonville (2-1): Ditto.

NFC Playoff Seeds
1) Dallas Cowboys (4-0): Beating the Rams doesn’t count for much, but the Cowboys have looked terrific this season.
2) Green Bay Packers (4-0): Favre gets the record, Packers get to 4-0. Sunday night against the Bears suddenly isn’t as scary as before the season.
3) Seattle Seahawks (3-1): Destroying the Niners gives Seatttle the inside route to NFC West.
4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1): Crushing the Panthers give the Bucs a two-game lead in the NFC South. Good thing since they get the Colts next.
5) Detroit Lions (3-1): After an ugly loss to Eagles, the Lions get an important win over Da Bears.
6) Washington Redskins (2-1): Sixth best record thanks to a bye week.

The John Madden Wayback Machine

In honor of Brett Favre breaking Dan Marino’s career touchdown record, I present a little history of the career passing touchdown record, courtesy of Packers.com.

• BENNY FRIEDMAN, widely considered the first great passer, threw for 66 career touchdowns while playing for the Cleveland Bulldogs, Detroit Wolverines, New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers, holding the record from 1930 until 1943.
• ARNIE HERBER played for the Green Bay Packers and New York Giants, and reached 66 touchdown passes in 1940 sharing the record with Friedman until 1943.
• SLINGIN’ SAMMY BAUGH passed Friedman and Herber in 1943 and threw 187 career touchdowns as a Washington Redskin. Held the record for 18 years.
• BOBBY LAYNE tied Baugh in 1961 and passed him in 1962. Layne played for the Chicago Bears, New York Bulldogs, Detroit Lions and Pittsburgh Steelers, finishing his career with 196 touchdown passes.
• Y.A. TITTLE passed Layne in 1963 after playing for the Baltimore Colts, San Francisco 49ers and New York Giants. He ended his career with 212 TD passes.
• JOHNNY UNITAS passed Tittle in 1966 and threw 290 touchdowns, playing the bulk of his career with the Baltimore Colts.
• FRAN TARKENTON passed Unitas in 1975, finishing with 342 career TD passes as QB of the Minnesota Vikings and New York Giants. Held the record for 20 years!
• DAN MARINO passed Tarkenton in 1995 retiring with 420 career touchdown passes.
• BRETT FAVRE passed Marino this past Sunday and currently has 422 career touchdown passes.
• PEYTON MANNING will pass Favre eventually as he has 283 in only his tenth NFL season.

And the top 20 career passing touchdown leaders as of today…

1. Brett Favre (1991- Present): 422 and counting
2. Dan Marino (1983-1999): 420
3. Fran Tarkenton (1961-1978): 342
4. John Elway (1983-1998): 300
5. Warren Moon (1984-2000): 291
6. Johnny Unitas (1956-1973): 290
7. Peyton Manning (1998-Present): 283 and counting
8. Joe Montana (1979-1994): 273
9. Vinny Testaverde (1987-2006): 270
10. Dave Krieg (1980-1998): 261
11. Sonny Jurgensen (1957-1974): 255
12. Dan Fouts (1973-1987): 254
13. Drew Bledsoe (1993-2006): 251
14. Boomer Esiason (1984-1996): 247
15. John Hadl (1962-1977): 244
16. Len Dawson (1957-1975): 239
17. Jim Kelly (1986-1996): 237
18. George Blanda (1949-1975): 236
19. Steve Young (1985-1999): 232
20. John Brodie (1957-1973): 214

The Battle for Brian Brohm (or Darren McFadden or Whoever the #1 Pick Will Be)

Winless teams in the running to ‘earn’ the top pick in the 2008 draft…

#1 – St. Louis Rams (0-4): These guys look dreadful with little hope of improving.
#2 – Miami Dolphins (0-4): Another ugly loss.
#3 – New Orleans Saints (0-3): Bye week. Still winless.

And now the one-loss teams

#4 – Minnesota Vikings (1-3): Bad and no QB. They must get Adrian Peterson more involved in second half.
#5 – Chicago Bears (1-3): Also bad and no QB. But they do have Devin Hester.
#6 – New York Jets (1-3): Two tough losses… they could be 3-1.
#7 – Atlanta Falcons (1-3): This team is getting better with Joey Harrington. Petrino for Coach of the Year.
#8 – Philadelphia Eagles (1-3): This team needs Brian Dawkins back desperately.
#9 – San Diego Chargers (1-3): Stunning collapse. Just stunning.
#10 – Buffalo Bills (1-3): Is Trent Edwards the savior of Buffalo?
#11 – Cincinnati Bengals (1-3): Are the Bengals about to self-destruct?